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Photo: Old Shoe Woman / Flickr

Two-thirds of British citizens eat with their elbows on the table and a quarter burp during meals. The Guardian asked some leading experts on etiquette what they thought of this ‘parlous’ state of affairs. The newspaper interviewed social commentator Victoria Mather, former royal butler Paul Burrell, cookery writer Prue Leith and several others. The perspectives on table manners are as different as the personalities themselves. But for a living example of class, Paul Burrell looks to the Queen.

Royal views

Paul Burrell, former royal butler, says it’s best to watch your host if you’re faced with a situation you’re unsure of. And who better to watch than the Queen? He tells the story of how the Queen was hosting a dinner for a local prince in the South Pacific.

The prince was ‘making a kind of fruit soup… when he looked at the Queen and realised he had made a terrible mistake. Not wanting to make him feel awkward, she picked up her finger bowl and took a sip. Now that’s class.’

Would you do it at Buckingham Palace?

Victoria Mather believes that table manners are a courtesy since eating is not an attractive human function. She says that the habit of ‘stabbing food, cutting around it, then shoveling it into your mouth is just too ghastly for words.’

Speaking with your mouth full is a definite no-no but she admits to putting her elbows on the table occasionally. ‘I wouldn’t do it at Buckingham Palace,’ she says.

Manners maketh the man or woman

Manners maketh the man or woman, according to Phillip Hodson, who is a fellow of the British Association for Counseling: ‘The hallmark of civilisation is that we don’t eat like animals, whereby the dominant male gets the dominant share of the food and the elderly are lucky if they get to lick the bones.’

Dylan Jones, editor of GQ, says that a mobile phone at the table is a big no. ‘Why can’t people just turn it off? No one’s that important. No one’s that busy.’ He warns that it can make you look a little desperate if you have a need to constantly be in touch with others, especially when it comes to business.

Chef Rose Elliot believes that people should feel relaxed and comfortable when eating: ‘I often entertain in the kitchen and loved eating with my fingers when I was in India.’ That said, she believes that it’s important to teach table manners to children otherwise they will feel intimidated in certain situations.

So it’s okay to eat peas with a knife then?

Cookery writer Prue Leith says she’s not concerned about table manners. She makes it clear though that you shouldn’t be surprised if your children grow up alienated and uncivilised ‘if you don’t eat “knees under” meals’ with them.

Her take on the issue is that civilisation is about eating and talking together and not about whether you eat peas with your knife.

Tags: lifestyle