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Loneliness in a relationship can be painful but it is also a common problem. One may blame one’s partner for a lack of physical or emotional intimacy but there may also be other reasons worth investigating. Stress may play a role as well as distance from a supportive base of family and friends. Perhaps you are incompatible or you’re growing in different directions. Some people have a genetic predisposition to loneliness while others may be distant because of their upbringings.

Communication

Intimacy is made possible when you are able to share your deepest feelings and thoughts without fear. Good communications skills can get you there. You might find that your partner is distant because he or she is battling with a personal problem.

Of course it helps to know that you have common values and some mutual interests from the start. From there you can learn to develop an emotionally honest and supportive relationship that nurtures both of you.

Get connected

Disconnection can happen between two people because their unspoken expectations and needs are not being met. By communicating effectively, both partners can express their needs and solutions can be found.

There are three basic needs for connection. Firstly, intimate connectiveness is the need to be affirmed, in this case by your partner. Relational connectiveness is the need to have face to face contact with friends and family. Social connectiveness is the need to feel part of a wider community. A good way to protect against feelings of loneliness is to nurture all three of these connections.

Loneliness could be a message to change your life

If you feel that you are depressed and withdrawing as a result, consult a professional for help as soon as possible. Withdrawal can make you feel even lonelier and more threatened which can make you feel even more depressed.

Whatever the reason for your feelings of loneliness, see them as an opportunity for change. No one person can give you everything you need. Strive to develop a closer bond and connection with your partner while building a rewarding life outside of your relationship.

Tags: relationships