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Infertility is the cause of heartache and trauma for many women and their partners. About one in six or seven couples is affected by it. The reasons for infertility vary and are sometimes unexplained. When all treatments such as IVF, hormone-based therapy, or the use of donated sperm and eggs fail, couples are often left feeling hopeless. They are left with three options. Childlessness, adoption or surrogacy. Few choose the first alternative. Most forge ahead with either adoption or surrogacy. What should you keep in mind?

Adoption

There is a wealth of information about adoption available online which is very useful as you’ll need to research this option thoroughly. It is recommended that you consider all the legal aspects in addition to the psychological and financial impacts adoption will have on you, your partner and your extended family. In the UK, you and your partner need not be married to consider adoption. And since 2005, gay and lesbian couples have been able to legally adopt, too.

If you worry about support, there are a number of groups both off- and online which offer a support and information network to help you out before, during and after adoption.

Surrogacy

Surrogacy is when a woman carries and gives birth to a child for a couple that is unable to do so on their own. This practice has had somewhat of a bad rap. There are horror stories of surrogate mothers running away with babies or couples refusing to compensate the surrogates. To ensure fairness, surrogacy arrangements are monitored through strict guidelines such as the Surrogate Arrangements Acts of 1985.

In this instance it also strongly recommended to follow sound legal advice before entering into such an agreement. It preferable for the surrogate mother to have already been through a pregnancy and to have ‘completed’ her own family, as this lessens the risk of runaways. There are organisations that assist couples and surrogacy volunteers for administration fees but no other compensation to the surrogate. Even if you choose this type of arrangement, be sure to get some legal representation.

When all is said and done

Surrogacy and adoption are both perfectly valid means of creating the family that some couples are not able to through natural or medical means. With a little help, sleepless nights and baby bottles are within reach.

Tags: baby, pregnancy