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As your relationship with your partner develops, you might find the two of you wanting to have children. You’ll think of how many kids to have, what to name them, where to take them to school and so on. The problem with most advice on the subject is it takes too much of a razor focus on how to go about it, as opposed to guiding you from a general framework, so you can let the rest take it’s own course. Below is an example of the latter.

It’s both in your control and out of your control

What many people who are planning a family do not realise is there are various factors that are out of your control. Sure, the number of kids you have is down to you (unless they decide to come in two and threes at a time), and where you live and what moral teachings you provide are for you to decide, you cannot change that they will have contact with the outside world. Contact that you as a parent, plan as you, may can never control. Be at ease with that.

Choose the neighbourhood carefully

Where your children grow up is incredibly important. Certain places in the world have a sense of culture to them – something uniquely that place that will leave an eternal impression on your children. Remember, when performing planning your family, that the neighbourhood your children are raised in is something you cannot divorce from their identity, so make sure the place you pick to raise them has reflects their culture.

Timing a family with friends helps

Many children who grow up to be the best of friends often do so as a result of being thrown together by their parents, and this is a good thing. Assuming you have good friends and/or siblings, who you value and believe would raise a good family, perhaps speak to them about timing having children in the same period. We promise this is not as ridiculous as it may sound. The benefits to having your children grow up side-by-side with those of friends and family makes family gatherings so much more meaningful.

Now, stop planning

The wonder of raising children is that the act is spontaneous. Sure, you have to get them educational toys so that they progress at a steady clip. And sure, family events like board game nights and the like are a must. But do not plan everything about your family in advance. See where everything goes as you raise your children. The worst kind of family planning is the kind that presupposes everything will go according to plan, and no plan, no matter how perfect, survives contact with the outside world. Let your family know this.

If you already have a family, did you find family planning to be an emotionally taxing exercise, or did you use it as a way to think more about your life and the context you want to raise your kids in?

Tags: children, family, pregnancy