Photo: Chesi – Fotos CC / Flickr

There are many reasons why your child may be bullying others and this is not necessarily a reflection on your parenting skills. No one would want to receive the news that their child has been hurting others, but the truth is that this is becoming more and more common. The best thing to do is stay calm and only address the situation once you have digested all the facts. Getting angry will not help you or your child so it is best to stay calm and act rationally.

Why is my child a bully?

Bullying is usually common in children who suffer from low self-esteem. If your child is struggling with his work at school, he or she may feel inferior to others in their classroom. Another cause may be that your child has a limited range of social skills and may not know how to act in upsetting situations or deal with unhappy feelings. Another common cause is that your child may lack empathy, which is a learnt skill that you can teach them.

Oh no! My child is the bully!

If you have discovered that your child is a bully then you should speak to him or her as soon as possible. Tell your child that their behaviour will not be tolerated and provide clear rules as to what will happen when these are not obeyed. Praise you child when the rules are followed and try to spend more time with them so that you can monitor your child’s behaviour. It is important to know who your child’s friends are and where they spend their time. Encourage your child take on activities that will help build on their social skills. Share your concerns with your child’s school so that you can work as a team to stop your child’s bullying behaviour.

If you find out about your child’s behavior in an uncomfortable situation, for example if another parent comes to complain about your child, try to get all the facts and keep calm. Remember that it is not in your child’s best interest to become defensive. Let the other parent know that you will deal with the situation accordingly and confront your child when calm.

Tags: bully, children